It's 10:30 PM. Do You Know Where Your Husband and Children Are?

I know where mine are... and no this post is actually not about that...
What it IS about is my new obsession: Pinterest. Grab a cocktail... I need to talk.

Because in reality, even though I know that the hubs is sitting right in front of me playing Batman on Playstation and the two chirruns are upstairs in the bed snuggled tight in their beds, the only object that I NEED to know where it is, is laying safely in my lap.

That would be my laptop, my pinning button and... yes... my Pinterest.

Can you smell the pretty coming through the screen people? OMG... It's been like 5 minutes typing, which is 5 minutes that I have been away from my new obsession. This blog is really taking way too much of my time...

Is this what it feels like to be on drugs???  I do know that I now understand my husband's "can't really hear you while this play is being snapped" thing he does while he's watching football and I'm nagging about something telling him something severely important about my sock drawer.

What is Pinterest you ask?  It's Playstation/ Football for women.  A place where I can neatly store all the ideas I run across on the internet without bookmarking my browser to death with things I will never, ever be able to find again... And unlike my browser favorite button, it stores a nice pretty picture that will remind me of all the projects my husband will complete around the house I will do. In fact, it's pretty much an internet Holy Ground of Pretty.  You really should take your shoes off upon arrival...

What I am really trying to say is: I will be hosting a Pinterest rehab meeting in January when one of my New Year's resolutions will most definitely include prying myself away from Pinterest with a crowbar to do other things... like ya know, work... or eat...

Marabou slippers still showers and puts on a decent pair of pearls everyday... I haven't completely lost it!

Follow me:  pinterest.com/melaniegayles

Share the Pretty.

And Ode to Sam's.

Confession of a suburbanite: I HEART Sam's Club!!!!

 

 Don't you? Oh, the many things you can find there!
Wrote a country song 'bout it! Like to hear it? Here it goes!!!!!!


*clears throat*   *blows into harmonica to find the key* me me me me me..
Okay


THE ODE TO SAM'S CLUB

Chorus:
Oh Sam's Club how I love thee
Went there for some ice cream left with an LED TV!


I went down to Sam's Club just the other day
I have VIP access they never make me pay
I whip out my card and feel like a star
Made a right at the entrance bought tires for my car




Oh Sam's Club how I love thee
Went there for some ice cream left with an LED TV!


Saw TV's on sale bought one for every room
The rooms are kinda dusty so I bought a vacuum
Bought a stereo to dance to and a computer for my blog
Went down and got a mattress now I'll sleep like a log!


Oh Sam's Club how I love thee
Went there for some ice cream left with an LED TV!

Picked up pounds of diapers; baby can use them right away
Got a playground for the other so he can go outside and play
Got mulch for the hubs, flowers and sweatpants for me
We'll curb appeal the yard it will be as pretty as can be


Oh Sam's Club how I love thee
Went there for some ice cream left with an LED TV!

When I arrived sample ladies were serving brunch
Circled the club for a few hours now they're serving lunch
I'd stay for dinner, but that might be a bore
Pick up a rotisserie chicken for $5 more!


Oh Sam's Club how I love thee
Went there for some ice cream left with an LED TV!

Got 10 gallons of lotion and bubbles for my bath
Buying bulk saves me money I just did the math
Got bread, got meat, a box of salad on sale
Envelopes and stamps even though I only email


Oh Sam's Club how I love thee
Went there for some ice cream left with an LED TV!

Loaded up the car I could hardly fit in
Haven't even left and I can't wait to go again!
Gotta car full of goodies I'm living the dream
I realized when I got home, I didn't get ICE CREAM!!!!!!


Oh Sam's Club how I love thee
Went there for some ice cream left with an LED TV!


Look for the video, coming soon to a theater near you!

A PSA: Don't steal from the cRaZy Lady...

A Love Letter To the Parent Who Keeps Stealing Permanently Borrowing My Son's Hoodies:

Dear Fellow Fashionista Whose Child's Clothes "Strangely" Resembles Mine,

You know, there was a time when I didn't know what the heck I was doing with this baby thing... The newness of it all... what to dress him in...

There was a time when it was the middle of July and I had him bundled up like he was about to cross the Bering Straight. Or the times when the season would change and I would, embarrassingly but admittedly, try to get him in that one summer outfit he never got to wear.

But whew!!!!!  What a sigh of relief I can breathe to know that you find my child's sense of style so refreshingly on point!  I mean, I took two seconds to tap myself on the back when you took the first hoodie home.  But now that you've taken them all, YEEEE-HAAAAW!!!! Look out Fashion Week! Here I come!

I totally understand how you can get confused when you pick up your child and there are all those hangers there with the children's names and a picture on them.   At a certain point, it starts to look like you are at a store where they sell everything for FREE99!  And my son does have one of those faces that looks, surprisingly, like everyone according to the people who say he looks like me AND his father (the nerve of these people to suggest he looks like the  both of US and not the neighbors).  And then, the fact that his name is written in the jacket must almost look like a gift tag; and the name merely suggests who it is from!!!  I get it... I do. You should really just send me a thank you card.

However, when I pull up to the school... and my son's clothes are missing.... I start ticking. Popping and locking like Electric Boogaloo is on... and having flashbacks... of like, the time I was 15.5 months pregnant tucking and rolling through the Old Navy Black Friday sale trying to save my life from the real crazies who were sleeping out there overnight...

...Or I think about how many hours of BS I put with at work to afford all of those $20 jackets. Or how my husband was late to work looking all over the house for that jacket and then trying to get my son to put it on...

Then there is the sad thought of him on the playground cold as hell while your child runs around in all of his clothes. Or the angry thought about me wasting my gas, money and time going to get a few more of them...

Parent, never mind my feelings. I mean, who am I to impose on your child's fashion-hook-up-ed-ness? The genius level he is to shop for, buy and launder his own clothes!  Or the Phantom Menace that lives with you so you can suggest that you have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA where the heck all those Old Navy and Gap Hoodies came from...

Santa Claus must stop by your house once a quarter!

However, you should be forewarned; I'm a little bit touched.  No, not in the Hallmark greeting card way.  In the "if you see someone peering over their steering wheel in the parking lot with a trench coat, cat eye sunglasses and a black scarf wrapped fabulously over their head staring at you" or "if you sense someone is in your bushes looking at you eat dinner" or  "keep your peripheral vision open because I might run in for the tackle at any moment" sort of way.

And I'm not mad because I spend money on quality clothing for MY CHILDREN (notice I said "MY" not "OUR") that keeps coming up missing; but for the principle that you would permanently borrow these items with no thought or regard as to the child you are stealing them from. And do it multiple times! The shame!

I see you. You've been warned and put on notice.
SECURITY!

We're Breaking Up