Expose: The Bad Habits of People on Craigslist

Hellllllllllllllllllooooooooo WATMG peeps!
How have ya' been? I've missed you all so dearly.  Grab some tea... kick off your marabous... Sit a spell and let's chat!

So, you know how I love Craigslist, right?  Well, if you didn't know- I do.  It's like a menagerie of mayhem! An online garage sale! A flea market without fleas! Whatever you want, you can find it on Craigslist!

Admittedly, I've gotten a lot off of Craigslist including my last corporate job, a few hard to find toys, my house,  fried shrimp, barbecue shrimp, broiled shrimp...

I once even found a helicopter... It came shipped in 27 boxes; but the fear that it also came with Ikea "draw me" instructions made me pass on the purchase...

But, there is something that annoys me. Craigslisters- we have to get our descriptions together.  No longer will this blog allow you... all meeeellions of you... to post things inaccurately. It's just a travesty in adjective abuse!  A waste of time for you and me. A bad way to start your day!

For instance, I've recently been searching for a beautiful chandelier to put above my dining room table so I can host lavish dinner parties and showcase the best of  Boston Market my culinary kitchen extraordinaire. And while doing so, I've come across things like this:

...that would be one piece for sale. It was described as a hanging Chandelier with a bonus accent piece. Bonus accent piece, ha?   Perhaps I should put it on the dining room table?  That should make for interesting conversation, pending I can see my guests...

Or how about this treasured gem from the Davy Jones Shipwreck collection? It was described as an "ornate brass chandelier" and it can be yours for the low price of $250...

Ornate??? Is that what we are going with??? Fugly was too hard to type? As long as the barnacles on it don't start talking...

This piece below would be perfect for your little bean's room.  And you can save $425 on buying it because it's on sale, now... RIGHT NOW... for $75

May be cute to someone... but that's some sort of love that made you buy a $500 moon and star chandelier... maybe I just don't get it... to each their own!

Now, this piece was described as having "amazing globes"

wait for it....



WAIT FOR IT!!!!!!










BAM!!!!

well, that was rather anti-climatic...
I guess, what could be considered amazing is that these globes cost $4 each at Lowe's but the seller of this piece wants $400.  Because upside down globes will rock your world, peeps.  Don't deny yourself the $400  light of cool...
Maybe the lister was tripping on 'shrooms... I could see how being high would make this seem like  AWESOMESAUCE!

Yes, this picture would be the "elegant" light fixture you clicked to inquire about. Conveniently listed under chandelier... because what's better than an overstated brass crystal mistake from the 80's than a few smaller brassy chandelier friends to scatter about the room?  It'll be GRANDTASTIC!

Or, if you are really, extremely fast, you can purchase a yet to be photographed chandelier that was $250 for $45! Details of the Emperor's New Chandelier can be described to you with a simple phone call to the lister... because he has a bevy of words that will describe it better than the two sentence post!

Let's agree to stop the madness, here and today.

Here are the suggested NEW Craigslist rules that we should all abide by:
1. There is someone out there who will want your junk.  Represent it wisely and sell quickly.  Doing otherwise will only waste time for everyone involved.

2. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Someone will look at these things and scour Craigslist for the next 4-5 days trying to find them; while I think they are all FUUUUGGGLLLLYYY less than pretty.  I get that.  So, just stick to the facts! No need for 1000 descriptive words (says the marketing professional).  I really can't believe I just let that escape my head... so we'll say limited descriptive words.  Just be accurate!

3. Be ready to part with your junk! The reason you paid $15,000 for that monstrosity  in 1982 is because it was in style then.  It went out by 1983... so, no, I, nor anyone with eyesight is willing to pay $14,995 for it today...mmmm k? Old and crusty does not equal vintage.  I know you are not willing to negotiate, but remember, you are trying to unload your fugly onto us because you can't stand the sight of it either... just remember my driving across town to get it is charity.  You should really pay someone to take it...

4. Please... puuuuh-leeeease (!!!!) post a picture.  I don't want to read 15 paragraphs and drive across town to find out you don't have what I want... and I don't feel like being spammed by you later on, either, when no one else wants to buy it.

So, can we all agree that this will make Craigslist a happier place? Puuuurty plllllllleeeease?!?!?!

Moral of the story: Don't abuse adjectives. They are your friends.

Kids Who Are WAAAY Cooler Than You

Just when your self esteem was getting it together... the music industry releases came up with some children who are way cooler than you...

Let's start here: Mindless Behavior

I was bopping along in the car to this song... thought it was about traveling across the world.

I've recently been able to listen to it because my son is in love with it... so, I do what I must for his musical education (aka- any excuse will do).

By the way... expect me to show up with afro boy's hair in 3...2...

Come to find out, this is the children's new Jackson 5, New Edition, NKOTB, N'Sync, B2K new generation... praying that they don't go the way of the groups that proceeded them.


And while we're on the subject, let's take a look at Diggy Simmons' song, "Copy Paste".  I feel like they try to do it like me, too.  I think I should play this in a work setting for a few folks...

Aren't there child labor laws to protect our adult cool from stuff like this... Secretly adding them to my ipod workout list... Enjoy the cuteness while you can Pumas and Cougars!