The Fall of August

Does anyone, besides me, remember when August used to be a summer month?

Remember when August 1st rolled around you weren't even really thinking about school; and that you actually had 4 more weeks before school started?

Now, all of a sudden, August 1st rolls around and the ice cream trucks get kicked to the curb by school buses! The smell of coconut suntan lotion is swapped for the stench of school lunch; and swimsuits are snatched off of people everywhere in favor of boring school/work clothes. THE NERVE!

I was happily enjoying my three week summer sabbatical with my four year old son and nephew; and my niece who is ten.   We spent days off the computer lounging by our neighborhood pool; catching a movie; going bowling or traveling to the beach. The four of us... frolicking and running amok. Then summer was abruptly and indefinitely suspended by the call of school for my niece.  This was bad enough until my son's preschool/daycare called and said that he was expected back on August 8. Really? Expected?

Will I go to time out for this parenting infraction?

What happened and who approved the decision to cut summer short?  Was I Were the children just having too much fun?

I'm an August baby.  Meaning, I expect all 3 of my followers to write and find out what I want for my birthday I love summer and especially August. Unlike winter, summer's long, hot, steamy days have plenty of options like taking a dip in the pool, finding somewhere to get ice cream and keeping your mind out of the gutter (because I know some of you went there after reading long, hot and steamy in one sentence).  Why are we cutting the one time of year when everything is alive, things feel good and the day never lets you down? Why are we in such a rush to make it fall?  This is a tragedy! Someone needs to call the Mayor of Whoville and arrest the Grinch who stole summer!!!!  

Until I get to the bottom of this, we need to think fast and find a finger to point the blame!  And who is the finger pointed at for this debauchery and tomfoolery? Hallmark.  Mmmmhmmm... Hallmark! ...As in the card company...

YES! Children of America! Hallmark is the evil reason that you are in school early and summer is fleeing by the wayside.  Hallmark is the hater of August.  WHY? Because until I make this blog superdy dooperty famous, and become the first person to win the Presidency of the US for the Shenanigan Party; there are and will be no other holidays in August (until my birthday becomes one). So in an evil ploy to sell more cards, Hallmark has cut summer short by rushing Labor Day. Thus getting our minds to think "end of summer" right after the Fourth of July.

But you think the execs care about crushing the inner spirit of summer??? NO! THEY DON'T!  They need to make revenue and the only thing to celebrate in August is summer... so until we create a holiday, the theme is: August BE DAMNED!!!

WE CAN NOT LET THEM WIN!  WE MUST TAKE BACK SUMMER!

Follow this blog... it will save summer.

I do it for you.